To fear at my own mistakes....

Is it true that I could fear at my own mistakes?

I don't sure for that...

I suppose to always be strong....

However or whatever happen....

But now,for this moment,for this mistakes...

I feel fear of that...

I have to make sure I brave enough to accept my own mistakes...

It is the only choice...

If not,I will go on with my miserable life...

Why everyone have their own reason to make me feel very weak?

I think they must think for many question of my weakness...

So,what I suppose to do is make every answer of my own strength...

Everyone see my weakness...

So,who will see my strength?if not me....

I am me....

you can create every answer....

But I will not give up to create their answer....

Everthing does happen....

I will never change my past....

But I can change today and tomorrow....

You will never make me down without my permission....

I will never give anyone even a chance to make me fall.....

I stood up with my own leg...

Even you push me down I will also stand with my own leg...

I will never fall or use your leg.....

you can think everything about me....

but,you don't know me....

I know myself...

thanks for the good and bad advise....

How to make a choice....

when two choice come at the same time....

So,what is the best choice.....

When both of the choice have the benefit and disadvantage.....

Sometimes I made the wrong decision that I think it will effect my life....

But,I wrong.....

The false decision made me become more merched....

It make me become a person who is not fear with failure....

Sometimes I also make the correct decision...

But sometimes it make me wanted to happen again all the situation of the correct decision...

But,when time passed,it can't be payed....

What can I do is just do the correction for this day...

make yesterday as a memory and lesson...

and think tomorrow for next decision....

Accept what we get....

I am me

You can't be me....

I am myself...

I also can't be you because this is my real life....

We have to be ourself....

I am still love my life even too many mistakes,troubles and sadness happen in my life...

Get along the life even too many bad things I can't forget it...

That the only choice....

I am not perfect at all....

Everything happen because of reason...

I don't care if I fail by being myself...

but,I care enough if  I'm win in somebody self....

I don't know why everyone cannot accept someone thatkind to them...

But they can accept someone that have been bad enough to them...

Are they blind?

I also don't understand why they follow their badmood even there have a person that try to make the happiness day for them... ..Are they can't appreciate everything that they have today??

Everything will go....

And one day their eyes will open and they can look to the things that they have miss....

The thing will never come back once again for them...

It just one chances that we forget to appreciate....

I just hope their eyes will be threaten after blindness one day....

my heart full

I don't need someone like you okay....

You just something that bother my life...

How could I give trust to someone who already I know that the someone that do not have any loyal...?

Of coarse I will not trust someone like you....

You think you are everything...

But I am very sure that you just nothing okay!!!

To lie to someone is just to fool someone...

But you wrong enough because you just fool yourself with your acting...

I think that you can be a good actor okay....

My heart is full enough...

I am very sure that I forget to keep some space in my heart for you....

You will never get any inch of space  in my heart

 I will not let it happen...

You can go now!!!

I don't care at all...

You can't give me any reason to make you stay...

So,the choice is just go away!!!

You will never make me to change my heart...

.

It's so hard...

It always be harder when everyone try to turn me to their favourite character....

I know i'm not perfect...

Do you think do you perfect?

So,that you try to change me up...

Seriously,I have think to change you too...

But I do not do that because you are you....

I want to be me also because I'm me...

If I change my character....

So,who will be me?if not myself....

I love me...

I love myself...

I'll accept what I am... 

Stop it....!!

Stop talking about me in my back...

I seriously care when it happen...

I have my own life...

Hope you all will take care of your life...

I hate it so much when you make my life tied....

You make my heart like want to burst....

Let me free as the bird flying in the sky...

You can tell me what I did wrong....

But,actually I will always care about my wrong...

But,you also turn away my life...

I just want to me....

life must go on

The life must go on even I have make so many mistake to my decision.

It doesn't mean the end...

It just mean everything just start....

I have to make an effort to make sure I decide the right decision for next time....

To solve the problem is by following the path that lead...or just cross the other path....

I love the way I am....and I don't care if thousand people hate my way....

Because I'm happy with my way than follow the other way that make other satisfied....

If you want to know who I am...

Just accept what am I...

That's my way and you should follow your own way okay...

If you feel jealous so think it properly....

I'm not perfect,you not perfect and we not perfect okay...

Accept what you have before you lose what you have okay....

I love everyone but mostly I love myself.....

If you want me to take care of myself,you should think it one more time because I love myself and I will take care myself for sure okay....

Learn to accept everything...

.

you never felt

you never felt what I felt....

So shut up and keep your word....

Every single word you speak is a doubt...

very big doubt....

Believing you is like believing a doubt...

I will not believing you because I don't want to believing doubt....

Take a mirror and look at yourself....

heart blocker

I have to lock my heart to make sure no one can enter it....

They enter my heart just want to make my trouble become more and broke my heart...

Life have to going on...

blocking heart doesn't mean forever....

It just have to wait for someone that really true to get into my heart...

blocking,locking,closing my heart....

I don't want to make decision

Before this I make everything by my own decision....

My life is by my own choose...

But,every decision I make wouldn't be perfect...

It's have a piece of mistake....

When every decision I make become very annoying...

Then,I want my best friend to make the decision for me...

Now,she gone...leave me...

Now,I realise that I have to make my decision again...

It's because every decision should have a piece of imperfect...

So,I cannot fix the imperfect and I think no one could fix it....

So,now,I think the imperfect should be there,in every decision

Because it what it should stay...

Everyone have their own trouble...

The different between everyone is how they show their trouble or hide it...

I want to hide all of my imperfect...

But I wish someone will appreciate my imperfection....in one day....

I want to dedicate song "kisah Dongeng"for myself...

I wait everyday for it and will never stop wait ....

the troubles

the troubl;es matter keep stunning on my heart...

I really don't know whAT should I do....

I think I just have to go on with my life...

When I think the past again I feel very regretful...

I just let the time gone...Even I want to say I do not say because of my shy....

Now,I can't go back and make the time happen again...

If I can make the time happen again...I will say to you what inside of my heart....

It is very ashame when the girl say the word I l**e you...

But I will use my all strength to say oit to you....

It better than waiting for you so many years...

I have feel how much pain keep waiting for you...

But,now What can I do?I think it just too late...

I have to keep my life go on...

I want to dedicate to you this song because I think it just sing our situation...

"Di Saat aku mulai mencintaimu"

You want to know why?

Because In the past you show me your l**e but I just give you ignorance...

I don't know what is l**e....

When you are not here and too many year pass by...

Now I know my h*a*t l**e you....

I think it's too late....

Of course you cannot keep your l**e just for me....

But it's not your fault if you cannot keep your l**e just for me....

Because it's destiny....

Everyday I try to accept it...

And now I can accept it...

I just want you not come again in my life and make me this way again...

If you want to go...go forever....

It's better....

Now I realize

Now I realize that some people can stay in my heart but not in my life....

It look so hard to forget the people who create a very strong memory in my mind...

If one day I have lost my mind...I do not want to forget one thing....

Not the star,school,ambition or anything....

I just want to remember the moment you create for me...

I can learn again and again to make ambition,to the school learning,and so many things...

But I can flash back and make you create again the moment...

It won't happen...

the memory is in my heart 4 eva....

the rules of life that I have learn

1.If I do not go after what I want,I'll never have it....

2.If I do not ask,the answer will always be no...

3.If I do not step forward,I will always be in the same place...

4.Anyone can make me happy by doing something special.But only someone can make me happy without doing anything....

Life is sometimes be very miserable...but what I know is life must go on....

Broken Heart

What you will feel if your heart have been broken more than 5 times?

You will smile?

You will happy or you will scare of yourself...?

first time my heart is broken it's okay mean that is just a small matter...

But when it has been broken more than 5 times...

I have to still learn how to hope?

Or make sure that all my hope is gone already....?

I don't know what to do actually...

I will wait for the chance....

Sometimes to do it to the other people is a very wrong answer....

I don't want to do it like that....

But sometimes it will be the only choice....

All of you can see smile on my face...

But all of you don't know what I feel inside...

It is very2 worst...

And I sure you don't want to feel it...

Better all of you don't know the pain than know and try to feel the pain...

Sometimes the silent people keep 100 secret and when they smile it keeps 1000 secret...

I can fix again my heart when it have been broken but I'm sure that it cannot be perfect like the first time...

Time to change

I think I have gone too far away from my purpose of life....

What I need is come back to the beginning of my purpose...

I think I have sleep too much...

And now it's time to wake up of all my ilusion dream that not give me anything...

I have to work hard for everything...

Yes,of course I like to day dreaming....

but I want to work hard to cover all my dream to come true....

I think it's time to change all about me right now....!

my dream

Not all dream comes true....

But,I believe that every hope can be true if we struggle to get it...

Nothing easy to get...

What I know that I have to struggling to get the dream...

I want my dream comes true...

But not all....

Because sometimes our dream can make problem to us...

Accept everything because it's the best for us....

hopes come

Sometimes I just have to make some people we love go....

Not because I never care about them...

I care more than they know...

But sometimes letting go i the only option to do...

I let them go but not go from my heart...

They will always be there...

Sometimes I want to make them go from my heart because it always make my emotion unstable..

but,I can't let them go from my heart...'

I don't know why....

At last,I find out that maybe it should be in my heart if it can't be gone....

The destiny will make we meet again not today but the other day...

We same or not it doesn't a matter...

At last we meet again...that's the matter....

I want to be with who need me

I only want to be with who need me...

I will help them as much as I could...

Fix their problem,make them learn lesson of life and make them happy...

I will be with them until they start not need me...

Then,in that situation I have to leave them just like the other people...

I will go to people who need me...

Why I have to be sad when someone unneed me?

Because they are the other one who need me more...

better be alone...

better be with no one than be with the wrong one...

I think that's right...

I want to be alone....

That's what I try to find....

Be with true one or be with no one...

I want to be with true one not wrong one....

ready to fight problem

I want to be ready to fight problem and not like before...

I run from the problem and the problem chase me...

Now,it's time for me to fight the problem even how big the problem are...

I will fight the problem but not all sometimes I just need to fix it to be okay...

SO,I will be ready NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lose bestfriend

I don't know why I have to lose my best friend...

I have to lose every bestfriend because it is my destiny...

What can I do...

I just have to go on with my life....

I am a human,nothing in the world can be forever...

Go on with the life is just the only way...

So,that what I will have to decide...

But,I lose them all but not the memory...

It is enough for me to remember it...

So,that's the only way to live in this situation for me...

Why I have to forget the memory just because I don't want to be sad....

I have to keep it in my mind just the way it should be...

Not lose it...even it is so pain to remember....

If I can't forget the memory,I think it should be there....in my mind....

I know what you did,but I just want the truth come from your mouth

I know it...

I hate the most of the liar...

I know the truth but I want it surely come out from your mouth...

I do not understand why you lie to me?

But,at least I want to know the truth from you...

You keep lying at me like i'm so stupid to know it...

I try to be patient but I'm a human...

At the end I will become mad to you also...

Don,t try to keep lie from me...

Sorry ,I'm quiet but not stupid...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to change my trust to the people!

I want to only trust the one who can see these three things:-

1.Sorrow behind my smile....

2.love behind my anger....

3.Meaning behind my smile...

-I don't trust easily.so,when I tell you that I trust you please don't make me regret it.....

I need to be strong....

I don't want to be strong....but I need to be strong because it's the only choice I have...

I know I'm not strong enough and weak...

But,I have to force myself in this situation...

Too many problems to solve...

I help the other to solve their problems but I caught in my problems too...

Help the others even I have much bigger problem to settle....

Sometimes I feel like what I do is always wrong....

So,I try to fix it but I don't know it works or not...

But I trust myself heavily than the others...

because it my self......

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you just the same

I think you are different from other...

but I wrong because you just the same as other...

I think all the person want to leave me...

I think you are so happy now...

I hope you are...

So,if you want to go...

yes,go!!!

I don't want to keep the person who can ruin my heart ok...

So,keep going with your life...

You go on with your life and I will go on with my life...

So simple...

So,I have nothing to care about you....

who are you?

You chase me when I run up....

Then when I chase you back you run...

So,what?

You don't know everything ok...

You sometimes can be my nightmare.....

But I try to change you into my sweet dream but I can't...

So,what I have to do with you?

I know what....

Our destiny will never be together...

So,leave me...

last day of school

I don't know how to say it...

so many student like when holiday...

But I don't know whether I like or not...

It is because....first:my bestfriend change up her school for next year...

second:I so fear to take pmr next year...

third:It will be so bore when just sit up in the house without doing anything....

So,Idon't know where to choose....

So,maybe let what had to happen and let the destiny....

I have to let myself to be brave every year...

beauty day gone without you

You make my day perfect even in the very bad situation...

If you not there my heart will always fear of everything..

When you were there I will fell that I have a very nice day...

Please don't go because without you I'm nothing...

You make me become everything....

You are one of the important person to complete my life...

If you want to go...yes of coz you can but please take my heart to follow every step you leave me...

TAke My hEarT to go with you...

I want always be with you

I want to stay with you...

You are like sunlight that can shine my day...

You also can be my diary that know everything about me...

Besides that you can be rhyme n I will be the song....

I have to be in a very worst day every day...

But,even tomorrow the sky will falling down I will always stay calm with you....

Because you are everything for me...

I don't need to tell you everyday that I l**e you because I believe you understand that...

The song of my l**e will never stop playing in your heart...

YOu are everything for me...

I brave not scare of you

you try to scare me with your word...

Believe me,I will never scare of you...

I will make you regret for the rest of your life...

I'm too determine to be defeat...

I'm to careful to be defeat..

You will never excellent with your plan because good vs bad...

good will always be the winner even you try so hard...

The one who never stop trying will be the winner...

I will be defend when you attack right now...

But when the time come you will be defend n I will be the one who attack

So better you be careful with me because I'm the dragon that hide my fire n you are the shark hide your teeth...

We cannot be together coz we are too much different..

I thinnk we are born to fight each other..

I hate you...

u just a bad dreaming..

U are a very bad/worst dream in my life...

I don't know why u always did something that will broke my heart into piece...

u say u love me....but I believe u never...

I think u had a plan..but I don't know what...

but I will take care of myself even u say"takecare"to me...

I know that I never respect people before...

but in secondary school I have try so hard to do it...

Yes,before this I never respect anyone except my family and old people....

but I respect the other than that just like a human...

You not respect me as a s***or but at least respect me as a humen...that's better...

I know I'm too nice to you...of course coz Sarah always remind me not to get mad...

but I have a fire in my heart I cold it with mytear in my heart but if it too much my tear could not stop the fire but will make the fire become bigger...

Then,you will know how crazy,mad,bad I will be....

Sorry,I don't like to get mad ....

If you want me to get mad...yes of course,I'm sure for that is not today or tomorrow but the other day...

I want to tell you if I get mad I will make you pay for that...

I'm nice in out but not inside...

I will make you pay for the rest of your life....

thx a lot because you make me more stronger to get mad with you...

I hate you.....